Finish This #3: The Hero's Tragedy

 The Hero's Tragedy

Wind swept the sand away, leaving only course rocks for him to stumble over. His feet quickly bloodied and his knees quivered with fatigue. Sweat had ceased to drip, and he felt Death breathing down the back of his neck. I'll never make it, he thought. Not this time. He lifted his head lazily and far off in the distance, beyond the horizon and at the very brink of eternity, he saw what would've been his salvation. It shimmered and mocked him with a seductive dance brought on by the heat of the desert. It knew he'd never make it, and so it danced triumphantly, claiming its prize before the battle was officially over. I wish I could have told them, he thought as he collapsed against his bitter deathbed. Never trust a <Finish This>.

Designing Business and Bookmark Cards for Writers

First things always go first, so here's the first thing:
 
Successful writers have and use business cards.

Business cards provide you with a recognizable, professional image. A scribbled on piece of paper torn from a notepad is just not a great way to leave an impression with potential readers, other writers, publishers, agents, etc. People look for quality when they explore new things, including books, and you don't want to be written off as soon as you hand over your information. Business cards contain all of your contact information and are about you as a writer--not your books. Bookmarks are for your books. Don't get this mixed up. Business cards focus on you.

That being said, writers also need simplicity.

Don't make your business cards flowery, image-laden or too calligraphic. Too many writers include pictures of quills, typewriters, books, and the like--things that make the card too busy. Remember, professional cards are simple and direct. Keep it simple, keep it clean and keep it easy to read.

The list of things you want on your business card is actually very brief:

• Name -- your real name, pen name, or both depending on your privacy preferences.

• Title -- something like "Author" or more specifically "Young Adult Fantasy Author"

• Official Website Address

• Other Forms of Contact -- Facebook, Twitter, etc. Pick your one or two most prominent and leave it at that.

• Author Brand or Logo (If applicable)

• Very simple color scheme

Now, let's talk about bookmarks.

Bookmarks make great pass-along cards. Not only do they contain information about your books and where to buy them, but they also help you advertise yourself and your work to a wider circle of people. They also increase your chances of staying connected to people you speak with, because those people have a constant reminder of you, your book(s) and your website.

And the best part is that your bookmarks don't have to be crowded and busy to achieve these goals. In fact, most of the time, the simpler they are, the more attention they'll get. Messy layouts and overabundant text drive people away, leaving a bad taste in their mouth that will be forever connected to you. (Not good.)

So, keep it simple.

Here's an example of a fairly common and successful design that you could use with a front and back card layout:

On the Front

• Your book's front cover

On the Back

• The Blurb -- from the back cover of your book or the dust jacket flange.

• One or Two Reviews (if you like)

• Where to Learn More and Buy (This is a great place to use QR codes.)

• Your Website Address (Again, this is a great place to use QR codes)

• Your Social Media Contact Points

That's really all it takes. A simple design that conveys everything they need to get interested and nothing more.

A well-written and beautifully published book, elegant business cards for you, attention-grabbing bookmarks for your books, and your confident work to see that they get handed out with pleasant conversation and a handshake. These are the things that will get you grounded right and start you on the way to success.

Good luck!

Finish This #2: The Arsonist

Are you ready for Finish This #2? Here we go!

Read through the short story and comment below with the words you would use to replace the "<Finish This!>" marker!

The Arsonist

The sirens drew ever closer and a crowd of neighbors was beginning to assemble around her. The cul-de-sac was drowning in the brilliant glow of the flames that consumed her home. She stood watching with her arms folded and fists clenched. The frantic questions and cries of those around her fell on deaf ears as she stood there hoping beyond hope. Sally, her next door neighbor, began to shake her gently but still received no response.

When the first police car pulled around the corner, followed closely by a fire engine, she glanced over briefly before turning back toward the house and fighting back the urge to smile. She used the distraction to crush up the matchstick in her hand and let its pieces sail away on the breeze.
The officers approached her while the firemen rushed to their task of pushing the neighbors back and extinguishing the blaze. The two uniformed men spoke to her gently and their tone made her feel safe at last, but then she saw it--the thing she feared most: <Finish this!> moving toward them through the intense heat of the fire. She screamed and scrambled for the older officer's sidearm.

Finish This #1: Running Home in the Rain

I'm starting a new blog series called Finish This. Each Finish This post will include a short paragraph or two with an incomplete closing sentence, missing piece of dialogue, or other such gap. The gap(s) will be marked with <Finish This>. Once the prompt is posted, it's up to you to complete it in the comments section. Remember, anyone can participate, so don't be bashful!

Here's the first prompt!

Running Home in the Rain

Water exploded under his sneakers. His laces, which had untied nearly three blocks ago, whipped his calves with each stride. The pouring rain hid his tears and for that he was grateful; a man never cries. He crossed the front yard and knocked the old door open with his shoulder. He went straight for his bed, casting his bag against the wall and kicking his shoes off to join it. He buried his head under his pillow and yelled into his ratty blankets and mattress, "<Finish This>!"

 

The Best Writing Advice

Anyone who dreams of writing a book or a poem, a song or an essay, can find literally thousands of "top tips" articles scattered across the internet, magazines, groups, and books. Advice is everywhere, and each advice giver claims theirs is the best.

Well, today is my day. I think my advice is the best. Why? Because it keeps you focused on what really matters. If you observe this piece of advice, and let all of the other bits find their place behind it, you will never go wrong.

The best advice in the world for anyone who wants to write right is two words:

Just write.

The beautiful thing about writing is the revision process; you can always go back and do things over again. So if you afraid you're going to make ten thousand mistakes, cool. If you've caught the Writer's Block, cool. You're just like everybody else. Neither of these things is really an excuse to stop writing.

If you're not sure how the next part of your work should go, try forcing something out. Then do it again. And maybe even a third, fourth, and fifth time. Give yourself some options to test. Perhaps none of them is right, but they'll get your mind headed in the right direction. And if you don't feel comfortable doing that, skip the part you're stuck on and write the part after it. Then go back and tie the two together. There are many routes to take, just keep writing.


As far as I can tell, there are two things that will kill a writer's dreams: 1) believing you have to have everything perfected before you write it down, and 2) stopping. If you stop writing, it will become your escape. Every time you feel stressed about writing, you'll just quit. Your work will never progress, you'll lose heart and eventually your dream of writing will fall by the wayside.

Never stop writing. If you get yourself in a pickle...

Just write.

Writing anything that keeps you going, and eventually the pickle will pass.

What Do You See?

It's time to stimulate your mind and have a little fun. We're going to release that writer inside you and let it break away for a minute. Put aside thoughts of your college papers, financial reports, writing projects, all of that. Just relax and let's write for a minute.

Here's the challenge:

Close your eyes (after you finish reading these instructions, of course) and imagine one of your favorite animals. Imagine everything about them. Then click on the comments section below and describe it in a few sentences. Don't tell us which animal it is until the end of the paragraph, and describe it the most captivating way you can. Let your eyes and imagination describe what they see; give us those words. Have fun with it. Be passionate about it.

I can't wait to read what you see.

Music and Subconscious Needs

Isn't life more fun when there is music playing? Workouts work out better, athletes compete better, romantics romance better, dreams even modify to the influence of music--everything just seems to get better with music. My favorite aspect of music is its effect on the clock. Time seems to pass faster when music is on (as long as you like the music that is playing), thus making it feel like it takes less time to do your work. Contrariwise, however, music has just much leverage on subconscious self-revelation. The music you listen to and play oft times says more about your inner workings and feelings than about the tasks at hand.

To illustrate, let's step into Mimgardr for a second. While Dan is cleaning the second floor of Merlin's tower following a particularly distressful turn of events, he chooses to break a few rules and incite some early morning mischief in response to the early happenings. He uses magic to make his treasured Fazioli pianoforte play out some powerful tunes while the mops and brushes work. He chooses two pieces of music that hearken back to the days of his childhood and remind him of doing chores at home while his father would play. The first piece he chooses is Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2, which builds from a gentler beginning to a very energetic end. He follows the rhapsody with "Danse Infernale", or "Infernal Dance" in English, from Igor Stravinsky's Firebird Suite, which definitely earns its title for the overpowering, crazed sound of the music.

For those of you who don't recognize these pieces by name. Here are two excellent examples from the endless realms of YouTube. I've hunted down certain piano performances to better illustrate how the music might've played into Dan's scheme in the wee hours of morning.

Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 by Franz Liszt. This rendition was performed by Ádám György, who studied at the Franz Liszt Academy of Music in Budapest, and posted to YouTube by dexsst5 on 15 Sept 2009.

"Danse Infernale" from Firebird Suite by Igor Stravinsky. This rendition was performed by
Francesco Piemontesi, and was posted to YouTube by ClassicalMusicVideos on 07 Dec 2008.

As you can hear, both pieces are a bit more fast paced, aggressive and energetic than most people would be accustomed to hearing when they first get up in the morning. However, I felt that they perfectly illustrated Dan's desires by starting out very simply and purely mischievous, and building to an obnoxious finish. In a way the selections reveal not only Dan's intent that morning and portions of his past, but they also reveal the storm that's built up inside his heart. On the edges of the storm Dan seems to be purely mischievous, but as one slowly peels back the layers they find the spite, heartache and fear buried deeper in. With the choice of music he subconsciously reveals his whole soul to the world in a desperately aggressive cry for help. Unfortunately, the volume and hostility of the music only serve to drive away the people dearest to him and increase his own bitterness. Maybe that's why his older counterpart appears then. Perhaps the visit was due to the music chosen that day. Perhaps it wasn't so much of a recruitment as it was a desperate act to preserve young Dan's own emotional health. He had already contemplated suicide once, so maybe there's more to the story than meets the eye.

What do you think? Do you think these pieces of music accomplished these various ends? Or am I just blowing smoke? What songs or pieces might you have chosen to illustrate these points?

Please comment below.

Ooo! Plot Twists, My Favorite!

In my opinion, the best moment in a great story is followed by the words:

"NO WAY!"

It's not the big climactic battle, the heroic victory, the villain's plotting or demise that gets me. Oh no. It's the plot twist. It's the moment where the whole story gets turned on its head, where the unpredictable happens. I love it when you've been led to believe one thing the entire story, then all of a sudden get blindsided by the fact you had failed to consider.

Some of the best plot twists, I think, come after many, many minor twists. I love it when a storyteller knocks off several possible twists you might be thinking of as you read, watch or listen before knocking the wind out of you with the real plot twist. By that point you're so sucked in to a particular self-conceived expectation that the plot twist leaves your jaw dangling.

"No way!" from Disney's Wreck It Ralph

Here are some well-executed character-related examples:

- The King-Candy-is-Turbo reveal from Disney's Wreck It Ralph.

- The Hans reveal in Disney's Frozen.

- The Scabbers-is-Wormtail twist from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban.

Then there are the "And they lived happily ever----Wait a minute!" plot twists, like these:

- Here's a relatively cliched example to start; the overlooked surviving monster egg/baby.

- Loki's appearance at the end of Thor, after he supposedly died, when the Tesseract was revealed. 

- "Fallon was gone." - from my own book The Elements and the Exodus.

Plot twists are what make stories interesting. They're what grab the attention of readers and bring out the demands for a sequel. What are some of your favorite plots twists? and why?

Cover Design Tips for Indie Authors

Despite the old maxim 'Don't judge a book by its cover,' everybody does. Covers actually say quite a lot, so if you're going to publish a book you gotta make sure the cover's only saying good things. Here are some quick tips on the subject:

1 - "Don't get cheap on me!" - Do not take the easy way out. Don't freehand your cover or use a program like Paint to create it simply to save money and time. You might be able to get away with that for a small number of children's books, but for the most part people will never even pick up such a book. Covers like this give the impression that the book is amateur trash, that it's not well written, not well put together, and not worth their time.

2 - Study other covers - Take a little trip to the local libraries and bookstores. Find popular books of the same genre as your own and examine the cover designs. Why would that particular cover grab so much attention? Is it the graphics? the cover copy? the title? the colors? reviews?

3 - Big, and easy to read - Make sure that your title is big and easy to read. Same goes for your name. These are the two most important pars of your covers. The easier it is for your title to stand out from a distance, the easier it will be for people to walk immediately toward it.

4 - Be subtly flashy - Use a color scheme and design that can't be ignored but doesn't go overboard. You want people to like looking at the book, so don't burn their eyes out with too many intense colors. Remember to keep it pretty simple. The more questions your cover inspires--the more mystery it contains and curiosity it inspires--the more likely it is that people will pick up the book to read the cover copy.

5 - 120-word max on cover copy - Book browsers won't spend a lot of time reading every piece of cover copy (also called "the blurb"), so ensure that yours is short, powerful, and has a very catchy tagline at the beginning. The shorter the better, but make 120 words your max. Comparing this project to fishing, the cover is the tip of the hook and the blurb is the barb. The barb usually isn't very large, but it does it's job well. You need to set this thing and make it so readers cannot walk away without taking the book with them.

6 - Don't be afraid to hire a professional - If you have no idea how to design a good cover, don't try. This isn't something you can just throw together and have success. If you know what makes a good cover but don't know how to use Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator or another like program effectively, don't DIY. People will be able to tell in a heartbeat. Be brave, be humble, be smart, and hire a professional; it's well worth your money.

* * * * *

Today is your last chance to pick up The Kingdom and the Crown and Mimgardr for just $1.99 on Amazon.com. Don't miss out on this awesome deal! It lasts till midnight, so tell your friends!

For the Kingdom and the Crown, click HERE.

For Mimgardr, click HERE.

HAPPY READING!

Top Ten Tips for Writers

Do you have a story buzzing around inside your head? Is it one you can't wait to write down but simply know where to begin? Well, maybe this will help. This is my top ten countdown of tips for writers:

10 - Talk It Out - Tell the story verbally. Or at least run pieces of it past your friends and family. This will give you a chance to think through things before you write it as well as giving you a chance to see how other people react to it. Do they like it? What feedback can you get? Are there ways to improve the story and your telling of it?

9 - Read About It - Who are your favorite authors? What are some of your favorite books in the genre you're writing for? Read them! A lot! The styles of writing you read tend to replicate themselves in the way you write (including grammar and punctuation), and by reading similar books to your own you'll also be able to see what other writers have done and how they've done it.

8 - Sketch It Out - Draw some pictures and make some biography sheets. Maybe even a Pinterest board or two. They don't have to be masterful creations. Simply sketch out some fundamental ideas. What does this character look like? Who are they? What does this place look like? Where is it? What does this trinket look like? Stimulate your visionary imagination.

7 - Break It Up - Don't envision writing a story as an A-to-B trip from the first capital letter to the closing period. You may find it more productive to write all of the important scenes first and then work on linking them together with subplot, journey accounts and dialogue. You may even be one who finds that writing the story backwards (from end to beginning) is easier. If you hit a snag or writer's block, skip the scene. Jump to the next one, write that, and then come back and smooth out the connection.

6 - Act It Out - Never be afraid to unleash the inner child as a writer. Don't be afraid to rehearse character conversations with yourself in the mirror, nor to act out a whole battle scene in your office or bedroom. Getting your head completely submersed in the game will help you get it onto paper better.

5 - Get Inspired - Here's a point where some writers will disagree with me, but I find it helps many authors get a better idea of where their story is going. This tip goes along with Read About It, but from a different angle. Watch movies and listen to music that help you better visualize how your story is going to go. You'll find examples of how your characters might act or appear, what places in your stories might be like, how events might pan out, how realistic the event is, and much more. The better you have the ideas pulled together in your head, the better you'll be able to write about them, and the more confident and excited you'll feel while doing so. Therefore, any means of creative inspiration is advantageous.

4 - Study It Out - Do some research. Ensure that your usage of fantastical things is correct, that you name pieces of armor correctly, that your science is feasible, that characters really act the way they should, that you match the phraseology and style of the time period you're writing about, and so on.

3 - Plot It Out - Plot out the story in short form. Whether it be a bullet list of events or summarized paragraphs, get the whole thing down on paper. This will help you figure out major plot points and where the chapter breaks might go. More importantly, it will help you to not forget details and subplots as you're writing, which will help prevent writer's block and discouragement.

2 - Purge It Out - Cut out the fluff, simplify, condense. If you make the story too complex, you will find it incredibly too long, too confusing, too disoriented, and too boring. You may think lots of complexity is good while writing the story, but when you finish and are reading through it for the first time you will find yourself regretting a lot of it and wanting to simplify things down.

1 - JUST WRITE - This is my #1 tip of all time! "Just write." When you come down to it the most important part of writing is writing. Everything else can be fixed once the original draft is complete. If you run upon a story snag or writer's block, do not stop writing. If you're unsure of where you want the story to go, that's fine, but do not stop writing. You can always go back and rewrite and reorganize later. The key is to never let yourself fall off the writing wagon. The best cure for writer's block and confusion is to write your way through it until better inspiration comes. Don't spend a lot of time just sitting around thinking about it, do it. And don't focus on your grammar and punctuation yet either; this is your first draft. Grammar and punctuation can be cleaned up and fine-tuned later. Just write. There's nothing wrong with going back and rewriting later, just write and keep the the story going. Once it's finished, THEN go back and clean it all up. Just write.

Well, what do you think? Hopefully this list has helped you new writers out there get a better idea of where to find some footing. Maybe it inspired more seasoned writers with some new ideas. I hope so. If you have another suggestion for a great writing tip, please leave it in a comment below.

Behind the Scenes: The Creation of Oolong

When I created Oolong for Oblivion's Gate, I went through a much different creation process than when I created Rokai and company for the Kingdom Chronicles. After all, they are very different creatures. Whereas Rokai and co. are based on the European myths, Oolong is built into a whole ecosystem and taxonomy of animals and mythical creatures.

One of the dragons from The Nine Dragons handscroll, Chen Rong, 1244 CE. USA public domain. Wikipedia.

To help you understand the scope of the project, here's a contracted list of the animals and creatures I studied and researched while creating Oolong:

Mythical creatures:
- Oriental dragons (As many as I could find, including, the long, imoogi, naga, and more)
- European dragons (wyrms, drakes, wyverns, etc)
- American dragons (like Quetzalcoatl)
- Other feathered serpents
- The Leviathan
- Other sea monsters

Real animals:
- Lizards
- Boas
- Pythons
- Cobras
- Vipers
- Sea-snakes
- Legless lizards
- Crocodilians (Crocs and alligators)
- Geckos
- Eagles
- Fish
- a healthy bit of endothermic (warm-blooded) vs ectothermic (cold-blooded) animal behaviors
- and much more.

It took a lot of work to get him worked out just right, but I'm very pleased with Oolong. Are you? For you writers out there, how far have you gone to create animals and creatures for your stories?

Editing: Why They Say Not to Ask Family and Friends

If you're an aspiring writer, independent (indie) or otherwise, then you've most likely heard and read the following counsel:

DO NOT RELY ON FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS EDITORS, 

EVEN IF THEY ARE PROFESSIONAL EDITORS.

I know I've read it. And like I did, you probably wondered or are still wondering why. Most of the articles on the subject will tell you that it is because family and friends care too much about you; they don't want to hurt your feelings by being "too honest."

I'm sorry, but that is a load of garbage! That may be what family and friends have told people who came asking, but it is merely a huge lie used to shield themselves from what they really can't bring themselves to say. The real reason seasoned writers advise you not to rely on family and friends to edit your work is--and get ready, 'cause this is gonna sting; I'm about to be very brutally honest--

The truth is: Most of your family and friends do NOT care about you or your aspirations. They are only concerned with themselves and their own fleeting happiness.

Now there are a lot of writers, family members and friends up in arms right now reading this, but I stand by what I typed. It's because they care more about themselves than they do about you, your manuscript or your life.

How could I say such a thing? I'll gladly explain.

Right out of the gate, the surface of the issue is this: you [the writer] asked them [your family and friends] to edit your manuscript because you trust them to be honest about it. You probably knew better than anyone that there were a number of things wrong with it; whether that be grammatical errors, punctuation issues, weak spots, boring spots, etc. You expected that the paper would come back with red editing ink all over it, with an arsenal of comments, suggestions, corrects, etc., both positive and negative. And what happened? They weren't honest; and the manuscript came back sparsely marked with positive feedback and 1% of the needed corrections. Why? Well, the common answer goes something like this, "I didn't want to hurt their feelings." But you tell me if your feelings aren't crushed when you get that manuscript back and you see that they didn't do what you asked.

"I didn't want to hurt their feelings" is one of the most childish and self-absorbed responses I've ever heard! They didn't want to hurt your feelings? They didn't want to tell you the truth for fear of hurting your feelings? Hmmm... So what if you self-publish the book? What about when the book hits the market filled with more holes than a strainer and more mistakes than an outlet store? What about when it falls flat on its face, and you [the writer] are left heartbroken because your lifelong dream was just flushed down the toilet? What will they have to say about your feelings then? I'll tell you what I was told once by a person that edited a friend of mine's story; he said this, "Well, it's not my fault. I feel bad, but he should've asked more people to edit it." I replied, "Did you tell him that?" He replied, "No." And I said, rather caustically, "Well, now we know. You are the Brutus to his Caesar."

Can we please move past Little League and the Pinewood Derby where we habitually create a bunch of hollow awards so that we don't have to deal with the sadness someone feels for being crowned "the loser"? 'Cause let's be honest here, there's only gonna be one winner, no matter how many teams or kids are involved, and the team that wins sure isn't getting any trumped up award. And let's be more honest, if you've ever been around the kid that gets the hollow award, are they ever actually fooled or happy? Nine times out of ten, no. Kids aren't stupid, and neither are most adults. They didn't enter the "prettiest car" or "best team support" contest, they entered a race or a tournament expecting to win. When are we gonna cut the overprotective crap and the play suit made of bubble wrap so that we can help people grow up maturely?

The truth is, writers, that the only thing most of your family and friends care about when their editing your manuscript is the instant gratification that will come when they hand the manuscript back with only good things to say. They think they will look like a hero. They just want to walk away from the experience able to say "I read it, I gave it back, I'm still happy, they're still happy and we're still friends" as if they did you any service at all; and so they lie. Simply because they care more about their own pride and feelings than your hopes, dreams and potential career, they will lie on your manuscript, they will lie to your face, they will lie to themselves and they will lie to others. They would rather stand by and watch from a distance as you crash and burn than be the one who puts themselves in the fire with you, give 100% of the corrections they see, offer 100% of their effort, and stand by you in the process of fixing and building your dream into a success. They would rather take the lazy road of instant gratification than the arduous road of labor, love, truth and compassion. They do not care about you or your ambitions; they care about themselves. That's the deep, dark, psychological fact behind all the sugar-coated cover-ups and excuses.

Having someone of this caliber edit your work would be worse than giving your manuscript to your worst enemy and watching them burn it while they talk about how terrible it is, or sending it to an unknown editor and having them just throw it away. And it's definitely worse than sending it to an editor and getting it back with a red front page and a big note that says CRAP on it. A person who will lie to your face and say only good things, just to protect themselves or "your" feelings, is an adversary to you and your work. They are a fair-weather ally who will not stand beside you when the storm comes, and would rather watch you drown than get their sleeves wet.

But what about those few of your family and friends, the hard-to-find percentage who would make good editors? What are they like? How would you spot them? A good editor, or companion in any right, is one who understands this basic principle:

Sometimes a person must be broken before they can be helped. In these times to love a person is to hurt them.

A good editor recognizes that the only way to make sure your manuscript is ready for the big, bad world of marketing is to test and fashion every molecule of the work. They know things will need to be fixed, cleaned up, cut out, or even added in. They know that hurting your feelings now will save you from a broken heart later, and they are willing not only to hurt your feelings but will help mend them as well. At times they may appear brutal and heartless, but they understand that criticism without advised corrections and follow-up compliment is useless. They are brutally honest, but they are also tenderly helpful.

We live in such a happy-ending world that forcing someone to endure pain is looked upon as evil or cruel, but many times it is the most powerful emblem of our love. If you've ever worked on a farm or an orchard, been around an EMT, or even read a religious volume, you will understand that knowing when to hurt something is the greatest evidence of your love and best wishes for it. A wild tree must be pruned before it can bear good fruit, a broken bone must be set before it can heal, a sinner must be spiritually scoured before the agony of sin can be relieved. Often times we are our own worst enemies, and it takes an outside hand, willing to hurt us for a moment, to show us our true potential.

I grant that it's hard to help a person improve when their feelings are hurt, especially when you're the one who did the hurting, but that is the cost of being a friend and being a family. A true friend and real family member should understand that better than anyone else, and that's why they are so often asked for help. Unfortunately, most of them don't understand it and fail the test of love.

There is no line that breaks my heart more when talking to people than to hear them say, "I didn't want to hurt his/her feelings." After such a line I am always left thinking, "No, that's not it; you didn't want to hurt your own feelings, nor give anything of yourself." And from that moment on I know I've found one more person who cannot be fully trusted until they take time to mature.